Day 69 - Day drinking

19 February 2022

Wake up early. I prepare Shells injection. After the success of last night, I feel better about it all today. Draw, inject. Almost no blood. If there were people around I would be getting an ovation.

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” ― Pablo Picasso

Shell’s finger looks to be improving.

Porridge for breakfast and nothing to do.

We stroll around Rome with no commitments. No chasing COVID vaccinations. No hospital or doctor appointments. Just a lazy day of nothing. It is great. We walk the city. Avoid the landmarks.

“There is no plan. All is hazard. And the only thing that will preserve us is ourselves.” ― John Fowles

Lunch at our usual cheap place with a bottle of vino Bianco. There is half a bottle left at home form the previous night. It is an afternoon for drinking. We sit on the terrace, listen to music and finish the bottle. Shell sends me out for another bottle.

‘Go get another bottle. Be quick. I don’t want to lose momentum’ - Rachelle Griffin

I head out. Forget mny wallet. Come back. Shout to Shell to throw my wallet down. She is talking to somebody on Facetime. Our friends Wenche and Grahame. I head up, grab my wallet. She does not notice.

Many more bottles are drunk this afternoon. At 4.00 pm Shell asks for dinner. I suggest it is a little early. She insists. I head down to our little kitchen. I am properly inebriated. It takes much longer than it should to boil water, cook pasta, mix in pesto from a jar and grate some parmesan. I get there in the end.

“That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.” - Charles Bukowski

I take Shell’s bowl up. She is asleep in bed. I wake her and head down to eat mine and do the dishes. When I come back up she is still asleep and the pasta is untouched.

She sleeps away the afternoon while I finish my book. When you finish a book you get the excitement of choosing the next read. I have three options. Revisiting William S. Borroughs, Junky. I have always wanted to read The Basketball Diaries by Jim Carroll. Finally, and with a little shame, Under the Tuscan Sun, by Frances Mayes.

I decide on Under the Tuscan Sun. Judge away.

I wake Shell at 7.00 pm for her injection. Conscious I am a little too happy about disturbing her sleep. Getting me to make dinner and then not eating it annoyed me. Am I really this petty? Seems I am. I mention the dinner. Shell is apologetic and disappointed I threw her dinner out. Suddenly I am in trouble. She heads down and makes herself some noodles and I feel like a prick.

Injection done. Masterclass.

Read. Bed.

To do list tomorrow - Nothing. Outstanding.

“Life offers you a thousand chances... all you have to do is take one.” ― Frances Mayes